教授|TED | 哈佛心理学教授：到底是什么造成了人和人之间的差异( 三 )
有人做过，关于人做*频率的研究，分类标准有男性、女性、内向者、外向者。我想问大家：每分钟做多少次——哦，对不起，每分钟多少次说的是老鼠——
How many times per month do introverted men engage in the act? 3.0. Extroverted men? More or less? Yes, more. 5.5 -- almost twice as much. Introverted women: 3.1. Extroverted women? Frankly, speaking as an introverted male, which I will explain later -- they are heroic. 7.5. They not only handle all the male extroverts, they pick up a few introverts as well.
内向的男性每个月有多少次性行为？3.0次。外向的男性呢？更多还是更少？没错，更多。5.5次，差不多是2倍。内向的女性：3.1次。外向的女性呢？老实说，作为一个内向的男性——关于这一点我稍后会解释——我觉得她们太厉害了。7.5次。她们不但搞定了所有外向的男人，还顺便挑了几个内向的。
We communicate differently, extroverts and introverts. Extroverts, when they interact, want to have lots of social encounter punctuated by closeness. They'd like to stand close for comfortable communication. They like to have a lot of eye contact, or mutual gaze. We found in some research that they use more diminutive terms when they meet somebody. So when an extrovert meets a Charles, it rapidly becomes "Charlie," and then "Chuck," and then "Chuckles Baby."
外向者和内向者的交流方式有所不同。外向者在与人互动时，喜欢肢体接触，喜欢亲近对方。他们喜欢靠近对方，近距离交流。他们喜欢眼神接触，甚至相互凝视。有研究表明外向者更喜欢使用昵称。比如当一个外向者遇见一个叫查尔斯的人，很快就会开始叫他“查理”，然后变成“查克”，然后变成“小查查”。
Whereas for introverts, it remains "Charles," until he's given a pass to be more intimate by the person he's talking to. We speak differently. Extroverts prefer black-and-white, concrete, simple language. Introverts prefer -- and I must again tell you that I am as extreme an introvert as you could possibly imagine -- we speak differently. We prefer contextually complex, contingent, weasel-word sentences --
而内向者呢，会一直叫他“查理”，直到对方认为他俩的关系已经足够亲密。外向者和内向者的说话方式也不同。外向者喜欢确定、具体、简洁的语言。而内向者喜欢——我必须再次提醒大家 ，我是一个十足的内向者——我们说话方式很不一样。我们内向者更喜欢说一些复杂难懂，模棱两可，云山雾罩的话——
More or less. As it were. Not to put too fine a point upon it -- like that.
或多或少吧。基本是这样。不把话说死——就像刚才那样。
When we talk, we sometimes talk past each other. I had a consulting contract I shared with a colleague who's as different from me as two people can possibly be. First, his name is Tom. Mine isn't.
我们在说话的时候，经常会打太极，推来推去。我跟一名同事共同负责一项咨询业务，我跟他是截然不同的两个人。首先，他叫汤姆。我不叫汤姆。
Secondly, he's six foot five. I have a tendency not to be.
其次，他身高1米96。我这辈子是不指望了。
And thirdly, he's as extroverted a person as you could find. I am seriously introverted. I overload so much, I can't even have a cup of coffee after three in the afternoon and expect to sleep in the evening.
第三点，他是个及其外向的人。而我十分内向。我心思很重，我要是下午三点之后喝了杯咖啡， 那晚上就别想睡了。
We had seconded to this project a fellow called Michael. And Michael almost brought the project to a crashing halt. So the person who seconded him asked Tom and me, "What do you make of Michael?" Well, I'll tell you what Tom said in a minute. He spoke in classic "extrovert-ese." And here is how extroverted ears heard what I said, which is actually pretty accurate. I said, "Well Michael does have a tendency at times of behaving in a way that some of us might see as perhaps more assertive than is normally called for."
我们还有一个助手，叫麦克。麦克几乎把整个项目给搞砸了。麦克的继任者问我和汤姆， “你们怎么评价麦克？”我稍后再告诉你汤姆是怎么说的。他的回答是非常典型的外向型。而我的回答嘛，其实在外向者听来，应该是非常精确的。我说，“其实，麦克有时候的一些做法，在我们某些人看来也许过于自信了，可能有时候有点过分。”
Tom rolled his eyes and he said, "Brian, that's what I said: he's an asshole!"
汤姆翻了个白眼，说， “布莱恩，这不就是我刚刚说的：他就是个混蛋！”
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